i spoke too soon

I TAKE IT BACK, I TAKE IT BACK, I TAKE IT BBBBBBAAAAACCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!! i sat with "the guys" (nick, dillon, tristan, alex) and it was horrible! they started talking about the navy (which i dispise, i don't dispise the navy, i dispise when they talk about the navy) and then they started a burping contest. i thought that i would actually kill myself. in science, the teacher was totally unreasonible (someone asked another person for a book and she sent them out of the classroom!) and i took a sharpie to my bangs and gave myself red and black streaks. i looked amazing! that is the new thing for me. maybe i'll do blue streaks next. kewl...

men's shirts, short skirts and "the guys"

lol, i was listening to that song (man, i feel like a woman) on youtube today and i started wondering, why are men so attracted to women in men's shirts? It's true though, all the guys that i have gone out with have gone absolutely crazy when they see me in one of there button up shirts! i don't see why though. maybe it's just a guy thing, idk! 

in other news i kinda miss eating lunch with the guys. i know that this seems really dumb. oh, right, you don't know who the guys are. "the guys" are a group of extremely immature boys who laugh at everything (note:i am not including the one (maybe two) person (people) who don't laugh at everything in this, they are the people who are part of this group but are not quite as... shall we say idiotic?). 

laughing senseless because someone does something even remotely funny (or not funny at all) (like burping, they kinda make a game out of it... it is sometimes funny i guess but not nearly as funny as they make it out to be, their faces will turn bright red with laughter... no joke with that one) feeling like that smartest person on the planet (and being a complete smart ass...lol i guess i am a smart ass pretty much all the time. this person at my school even told me that i make them feel totally feel stupid.) 

for a bit of the back history on that one, that was the group that i went to after i met nick on the bus (in truth, i don't really remember when we met but i kinda told nick that i do remember) i guess that i kinda seek refuge (or at least a seat with them at lunch) with the other class (in 7th it was 8th and with 8th now it's 7th) probably because i don't have to spend as much time with them. so i started sitting with nick, Cory, Dillon, Tristan, and Alex and Nate also sat with us some times too. not the best table manners if you know what i mean. long story short nick and i started going out. we saw a movie, went ice skating, hung out. i'm planning on moving out of state to go to high school and i figured out after about two months that we were way to close. if it had gone on much longer then i don't think that i would have been able to let go. maybe it was selfish but i broke it off with him. 

Anyway, i pretty much stopped sitting with the guys when i broke it off with nick. i might start sitting with them though because i miss it (not the going out with nick part, the sitting with the guys part). 

friday... i think

I'm depressed about something. i don't know what though. the only reason that i know that something is wrong is that there is a feeling in my stomach. you know, that feeling that you feel along your spine, and at the back of your throat and in your chest. I can't get rid of it. well i guess  i could get rid of it, by snuggling up with a guy, someone who will always be there for me and who will love me unconditionally. and who probably doesn't exist and if he does exist, than I'm probably the last girl in the world who he would go out with. and he also would have to respect my super secret asperation, to be a cop. wow, did i just say that? i didn't really mean to. i mean i did but, just don't tell anyone! most people that i've met don't except me as it is. And the one person who will actually talk to me, got a boyfriend (who now wants to kill me because I "never leave her side". They have spent the past four days together!). i found out that one of my friends likes my favorite singer, maybe he is the perfect match for me. idk.  i'm confusing aren't i? 

why me?

lately I've been feeling very very lonely. No body has really talked to me except for that &@$# head Jordan. One of my friends got a boyfriend (who is very nice to me... when it's just me and him talking) and now she is spending time with him at recess and lunch. Not that i exactly mind, they're a very cute couple (i wonder how long this will last. the last one lasted about four months i think, I'm not exactly sure exact dates though). they look good together, he is more gentle around her, they are just a very good couple. I want to hang out with some of the boys (not at all romantically) but if you even sit near a person of the oppisite gender for more than 3 days at a time, you will be accused of liking that person. Now, normally, that wouldn't bother me in the slightest but i do kinda have a miniscule thing for nate (who i have mentioned before) but that is probibally because he was there for me when i needed it. i had a little thing for horus after he was assigned into my group when we did the ropes corse (but it was me that was there for him when he was terrified out of his mind). that completely diminshed within two-three weeks so maybe this thing with nate will too (did i mention before that nate has a girlfriend? or that I got my last boyfriend to dump his girlfriend, yeah i'm that persuiesive) but who knows. 

Did you hear in the season finale of CSI:NEW YORK that Flack's girlfriend was killed??? it was very tramutic! anyway, i have a reading assignment due tomorrow and also, a math EOGT (End Of Grade Test, state requirement for north carolina. it sucks.) and the rest of my class did it today (took the test that is) and a bunch of people didn't finish before lunch, i'm kinda nervorous about it but it's whatever. ttyl! 

P.S. to jordan the 3&@$# head, FireBunny? (the story on that, that is his nickname for his gmail account. Very MANLY you 3&@$# head!)

thank yous+ the tramatic event that gave occation for one of them

first of all, i would like to thank Levi for forgiving me.  

Second, i would like to thank Nate for being there for me. this is how the story goes: we were in social studies class (as i mentioned before, each class has around 16 people in it) looking at a website for our current unit of study (economics) when there was a knock on the door. It was frank, who is pretty much the school handyman needing to talk to the teacher (ted for this class). the two stepped out the door for a second to discuss something. i was on the opposite of the room so i couldn't hear them. seconds later ted entered the classroom again. Apparently it was raining because ted had a few drops of water on his shirt. i didn't think much of it at the time but i do now. It couldn't have been more than a minute before the fire alarm went off. 

"don't respond to that please, frank just warned me that that might happen and that we should just ignore it." yelled ted over the fire alarm. If  you have ever been in a school when the fire alarm goes off, you know how incredibly hard it is to ignore (with the blaring alarm and the flashing lights an all) but the alarm discontinued in a about a minute. 

they must be running some tests on the alarm systems I thought. we continued on doing the things that we had been doing until the intercom came on and someone said "teachers please get your classes to the natural disaster safety positions" and we all went to the tiny back room. 

Now you must know that our classrooms are in what is best described as six double wide trailers. they are all separated so we have to go outside to get to our next classes. the school has recently invested in building a new building which is commonly referred to as "the new building". 

For some reason i felt the need to be near one of the boys but i ended up lodged between Luci and Rachel with phoebe across from me. we all sat down. It didn't smell good at all in that room and when i looked around i realised why, there was a hamburger, covered in a whitish greenish mold and smelling heavily of decomposition, right next to my right ear. 

"when is this drill going to be over?" inquired somebody to my right after a while

"this isn't a drill" said ted. 

I must say, that was quite reassuring (NOT!).  Seconds later ted got a call on his cellphone.

"were going to the new building" was what he said after he hung up.

we all rushed to the door. when it was opened, we could see rain pelting the ground. each person ran out into the the rain. water was flowing over everything. i couldn't help but think how absolutely beautiful everything looked. there must have been about half of an inch of water flowing across the parking lot. We entered the new building and veered to the right into a medium large room that looked like half of a hexagon and squished across the inside wall. we were inside the building and in safety. more kids and teachers streamed into the door. Everyone was completely soaked. the 8th grade was in the room and 6th and 7th were following.  we all sat against the wall. i was to the far back of the room leaning against a sink. One of the seventh graders (Nate) was looking around for a place to sit. i gestured to right next to me and he came and sat down. i was huddled up into a ball and shaking (not only was i wet and the room was cold but i was scared out of my mind) but i still smiled at him. ted commanded everybody's attention. "there has been a tornado watch posted for this area. we are pretty safe here though, these walls are a full foot of concrete. we will stay down here until the post has been withdrawn."

We sat in silence for a while. 

"everybody partner up with someone sitting near you." i looked over to Nate and held out my hand. he took it. it was so comforting to know that someone was near me that would look out for me.  I was expecting to clasp for a second then releas but he held on. maybe he could see that I needed it. what ever the reason i was greatful for his hand wraped around mine. it must have been around an hour that we stayed like that. just being quiet and sometimes wispering to eachother how much we wished that we had our cellphones with us so that we could check on our families. 

I sometimes wonder how long we would have stayed like that if i hadn't let go of his hand. i didn't want his girlfriend to see us like that (yeah, she was in the room too) and i didn't want the other people in my class to see us holding hands (that would result with not only people teasing us but possibaly nate and his girlfriend's breakup).

When we finally got out of there, i looked up at nate and said "thank you".

So again, thankyou so much nate, you were there when i needed somebody the most and you really helped me get through the tornatio watch.

 ~elsie    

I'M SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

SORRY LEVI!!!!!