My mother bought me a new shirt. i looked at the shirt and i exploded. i don't know what got into me. i started lecturing her on how i could understand being a bit frivilous with food but i had plenty of clothes and didn't want more. i had told her again and again that i don't want more clothes and also i have plenty already. and it she should on the rare occation find something that she just couldn't pass up, she should take a picture of it and send it to me through our cell phones and i would send back feedback.
she just did it one too many times. going out and shopping on her own (dangerous in itself because she usually spends a fourtune and we don't have tons of money) then she bought a shirt without asking me first or even considering that i have a shirt almost exactally like it in my room and i usually don't wear it. then she comes home and presents it to me expecting for me to instantly fall in love and wear it all the time for the rest of eternaty.
i lectured and lectured. i realised right about in the middle that i was crying. i was so dissapointed with her. we don't have the money, she should focus on what we NEED, insted of stupid and senceless impulse buys.
we got rear-ended two years ago and my mother suffered neck injuries. she is a violinist and uses her neck for work. She has spent thousands on metical bills and she has majorly large credit card bills. we just can't afford these kinds of things. and she needs to learn this.
lately my mother isn't the woman she used to be. she hangs out with one of her friends a lot more then i think is healthy. her friend is mixed up in some pretty bad things. i don't know her that well, but i know that she does things that...that i believe a law abiding citizen would not do. she gambels and smokes and is pregnant (though she knows who the father is... i think...) she is not married and i don't believe is in her life anymore. (i do believe that you should be married to the man who's baby you are carring unless you have gotten "medically assisted" pregnant. i believe that the father and mother need to be together for the first five or six years to provide stabibity which i believe is crutial to rasing a healthy and confident child. my father really isn't in my life. a week a year is pretty much all i see of him, he and my mother were never married and this information probibally greatly influences what i think about a stable household.) i know that my mother smoked when she was in college but i know a lot of people who did that. i recently found out that my mother has started up again. (i will never smoke and that's a garuntee because i know what it does to people) that is about consistant with when she started hanging out with this friend. i know she dissaproves of gambeling or she says that she does. But how am i to believe her when she is lieing to me so much. in reality, i don't know where she goes when she says she at her friends with. i really don't care if she is having a little fun with the oppisite gender but i dont' want her doing things that are endangering her health. After she retreated with a big smile on her face which was totally unwarrented i went into my room and cired my eyes out. i am doing more than my part to keep this little family afloat, i use food that we already have around the house to make meals, i just renovated a pair of too tight jeans to fit with a few hours and a $5.00 ball of yarn when i could have asked for a new pair wich would probibly cost upwards of $20.00. don't buy new books, i take them out from the library. but i'm only 14. i can't get a job (you have to be 15 in this area) to help support the family. my parents won't let me do the shopping by myself to get just the items that we need. pretty much all that is in my power is to get good grades and hope for a scolorship to college or i'm not going to be able to go to college at all and yell when they don't make the right decitions to hopefully teach them that that was a bad thing to do. i feel like the parent.
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